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Books on Grief 

  • Anchored by Erin Cushman  

  • A Guide for Fathers: When a Baby Dies by Tim Nelson 

  • A Grace Disguised by Jerry Sittser

  • Empty Arms by Pam Vredevelt

  • Empty Cradle, Broken Heart by Deborah Davis

  • Motherhood after Miscarriage by Kathleen Diamond

  • Grieving the Child I Never Knew by Kathe Wunnenberg 

  • I Will Carry You by Angie Smith

  • Heaven by Randy Alcorn

  • The One Year Book of Hope by Nancy Guthrie

  • Choosing to See: A Journey of Struggle and Hope by Mary Beth Chapman

  • Walking with God through Pain and Suffering by Timothy Keller

  • A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis

  • I’ll Hold You in Heaven by Jack Hayford

  • When God Doesn’t Fix it by Laura Story

  • And Still She Laughs by Kate Merrick

  • Holding on to Hope by Nancy Guthrie

  • It's OK that You're Not OK by Megan Devine

​Books for Children:

  • We Were Gonna Have a Baby, But We Had an Angel Instead by Pat Schwiebert

  • Heaven is For Real for Little Ones by Todd Burpo

  • Something Happened by Cathy Blanford

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Expectations of Grief

Grief is unique. Grief is hard. It may be the hardest work you’ve ever done. It is physically and emotionally exhausting. Even when you don’t notice it, it is there. There is no script for how your grief journey is going to go. No one can tell you how you should feel or how long you are going to feel it. Your grief is unique and different from anyone else’s. Your feelings are valid, regardless if someone else does not feel that way. Grief impacts all areas of your life. These are just a few of the many things you may experience during your grief journey:

As you are traveling this road, I encourage you to be gentle with yourself and be patient. Some days you will feel great and then suddenly, you’re in the thick of your loss all over again. Grief is a process and this loss you have experienced will never be forgotten, but the pain you feel will lessen over time. Additionally, the grief journey is unique to each individual. Your partner or spouse will not be grieving the same way that you are. You must communicate and extend each other grace during this time. Men and women differ in so many ways emotionally and grief is no different. Grief will touch every single square inch of your life. These are just a few of things you may experience throughout this journey.

Physical Effects of Grief:

  • Chest pain or shortness of breath

  • Empty feeling in abdomen

  • Aching arms

  • Fatigue or lack of energy

  • Headache

  • Change in sleep habits-excessive or not sleeping at all

  • Loss of sexual desire

  • Weight changes

  • Restlessness

  • Gastrointestinal symptoms such as constipation, diarrhea, or abdominal pain

Emotional/Psychological Effects of Grief: 

  • Denial

  • Guilt

  • Anger

  • Bitterness

  • Depression

  • Mood swings

  • Irritability

  • Sadness

  • Difficulty concentrating

  • Decreased self-esteem

  • Dreams

  • Thoughts of death and dying-if you are having thoughts about taking your own life, please seek help immediately.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline 24/7 1-800-273-8255

Spiritual Effects of Grief:

  • Increased spirituality or decreased sprituality

  • Anger towards God or higher power

  • Questioning your spiritual beliefs

  • Searching for answers from God or a higher power

  • Finding comfort in prayer

  • Finding no comfort in prayer

  • Feeling abandoned or punished by God or higher power ddd

  • Thinking about how we want to spend the remainder of our lives

Social Effects of Grief:

  • Avoiding people, places or things that remind you of your loss

  • Feeling isolated

  • Feeling misunderstood by family and friends

  • Feeling sad that no one talks about your baby

  • Avoiding celebrating the holidays

  • Over committing your schedule to avoid feeling and dealing with the pain v Becoming a workaholic

  • Not attending family gatherings

  • Avoiding people with babies

  • Not attending baby showers

  • Healthy ways to cope with your grief:

  • Exercising may improve your mood and is a great way to release tension and stress v When you need to, cry. Tears will come spontaneously and at unexpected times but it is best for you to let them go instead of holding them in.

  • Express your thoughts and feelings through writing or journaling.

  • Find a way to channel your pain in a healthy way. You can make crafts to memorialize your baby, write songs, or start a blog.

  • Do not feel pressured to do something you are not ready to do. If you are not ready to go to a family gathering with your cousin’s new baby, do not go. Only you can decide what is right and wrong for you!

  • Many symptoms of grief can last several months but if you experience prolonged difficulty sleeping or eating more than a couple weeks, please seek help from a healthcare provider.

  • Find support with people that understand. Find a support group or your church if there are any other families that have experienced a similar loss. Few people are going to understand your pain and that makes it very difficult. Having people to turn to that understand when times get hard is important.

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Online Resources

MISS Foundation www.missfoundation.org
Help families heal after the death of a child through research, advocacy and counseling.

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The Forget Me Not Foundation www.fmnfoundation.com
This non profit was established to provide materials to the newly bereaved parents suffering pregnancy or infant loss.

 

Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death www.mend.org
Provides support to newly bereaved mothers that have suffered miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infancy death.

 

SHARE Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support www.nationalshareoffice.com Provides information and support resources to parents that have suffered the loss of a baby.

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Postpartum Support International www.postpartum.net

Provides counseling, support groups and resources for women experiencing perinatal and postpartum mood disorders. 

 

Hope Mommies www.HopeMommies.org
Provide resources and community for mothers that have experienced the death of a baby.

 

Still Standing Magazine www.stillstandingmag.com
A group of stories comprised from women who have experienced the loss of a child.

 

Faiths Lodge  www.faithslodge.org
Offers retreats for parents that have experienced the death of a child for a very reasonable cost.

 

The Compassionate Friends www.compassionatefriends.org Offers online forums and local support groups for parents that have experienced the death of a child.

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